Wednesday, August 03, 2005

If It Looks Like a Minivan...

I'm not stupid. Why do car companies think I'm stupid? Why do they insist on telling me that a minivan is not a minivan?

Every time I see a commercial for a minivan, it's always centered on how this vehicle is not really a minivan. Sure, it looks like a minivan but it's got this sleek new look. It's got these sweet flip-down video screens. Hey look, you can even fold down the seats and stow your kayak because we know you're an active mother. You know, you have all sorts of time for kayaking while your nanny is raising your child. Plus, we'd hate you to buy our car because you actually want to admit that you're a practical mother who has time for her children. No, no. We want to be part of your masquerade. We want to help you pretend that you don't actually have children and maybe even make people think that you're not married. You know, you're a MILF after all and what good is being a MILF if you can't shop yourself around and maybe get a little cock? You know what we're talking about. We're just going to come right out and say it: This miniva... rather, sport um... vehicle will get you laid. You work hard, mom. You should cum hard, too.

We're here to help. Buy our minivan.

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