Thursday, March 16, 2006

Indiana's New Laws

Yesterday was the last day of the 2006 session for the Indiana Legislature.  (How do I know?  This is my dad.)  They call it their "short session".  Regardless, they still managed to get quite a bit done.  Here are a few new laws enacted in this short session.
 
1) The Major Moves Bill
The Major Moves bill gives the Governor the ability to lease the Indiana Toll Road to an overseas company.  This will bring approximately $3.8 billion to Indiana for other road repair projects. 
 
I just hope they don't put the lanes on the wrong side of the road.
 
2) Fireworks
Fireworks are now legal again in Indiana.  You don't have to sign anything saying that you won't detonate them in Indiana.  You're now free to do that within the borders of the state - legally.  This bill also adds a tax to purchasing fireworks.
 
Indiana Fireworks: Lose fingers and more money.
 
Congratulations, lawmakers on a fine short session.  Hoosiers are in good hands.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Bumper Stickers

For the first time in my life, I saw a bumper sticker that I agree with. It read: “Nobody Owes You Anything”. Now that’s a bumper sticker that I can get behind… rather, that I can put behind me… er, that I could stick on the behind of my car.

Here are some other bumper stickers that I would like to see:

1) You are unique. Just like everyone else.
2) If you’re illiterate, you can’t read this.
3) If you’re apathetic and you know it clap your… aww, nevermind.
4) Eyes on the road, jackass.
5) Peel here to reveal large scratch.
6) Free everything.
7) Politics.
8) My other ride is a hooker with the clap.
9) I’d rather be shopping for bumper stickers.
10) I feel my political beliefs are best expressed via small rectangular adhesives stuck to the back of my car and I honestly think that this tiny little piece of glorified tape is going to change your mind and get you to vote on my side because it’s just that clever and hilarious. How could you not vote with me after reading this and having your mind blown by its pith? Seriously, I’m right.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Commission

I went to my local electronics store to pick up a new TV for my place. I was immediately assaulted by a very persistent salesman. I hate salesmen. The conversation went like this:

"Anything I can help you with, sir?"

"No thanks. I'm just looking around."

"Okay. I just want to let you know that you're looking at a great model. You get a lot for that price."

"Great. Thanks."

"Also, you should know that you get half off surround sound systems with the purchase of a TV this month."

"Great. Thanks."

"I see that you're gravitating towards the Sony. We've got a lot of different Sony models that you might be interested in."

"Great. Thanks."

"Are there any questions that I can answer for you?"

"Yeah, where are the socks?"

"..."

"Thanks. Good day."