Friday, May 19, 2006

Meditations on Hip Hop

I have more than my fair share of Hip Hop (Hip Hop, R&B, call it whatever you like) albums and songs.  There are many Hip Hop artists that turn out some fantastic songs.  Like any musical genre, there is a lot of crap as well.  I have a few suggestions that might reduce the level of crap that we hear within the Hip Hop genre.
1) From now on, we're just going to assume that you are "in the house."  No need to inform us of the fact.
2) Stop sampling.  Sampling is just a legal form of plagiarism.  Be original.  If you must sample, do not sample from artists that are still alive - especially ones who had a hit as recently as the late 80s.  Sample from old school blues artists.  Bonus points if you sample Leadbelly.
3) Random dudes shouting "Whoa" throughout the song do nothing to enhance your point.
4) We know you have a nice car.  We don't care.
5) Only sing about how much you get laid if you are also willing to sing about the associated STDs.
6) Your "bling" is your own business.  Keep it that way.
7) Songs about shaking your ass are still permitted, though we're quickly reaching the threshold.
8) Asking us to "wave our hands in the air" on a recording defeats the purpose.  Save it for the live show.
9) You're not the greatest and you never will be - no matter how much you say it.
10) We're also going to assume that you are "keeping it real."  We don't need to hear it.


  1. very funny
    i actually laughed out loud at the keeping it real bit

  2. Thanks for reading, Karis.

  3. Joe Important in the 'hizzz-ous!' Kickin' it Northside style one more time for the hunnies with mad sweatercows!

  4. Hey Jeff...Just wanted to say hi and let you know that SBS was in the house...and, I'm keepin' it real....

  5. Word to the mutha, SBS.

  6. Anonymous6:38 PM

    You forgot to mention the need to give yourself a name that, while is a common word, is spelled all crazy (i.e., Xzibit).

    Its like some sort of vanity license plate game and looking through a list of ringtones is like reading a foreign language.