Thursday, June 15, 2006

Do I Exist?

It's a natural human tendency to wonder about our existence. In fact, there have been many movies about it. Are we all living someone else's dream? Are we all living our own dream? Are we all living a computer generated dream? No one knows. Philosophers have debated the question of our existence from the beginning of time.

Despite all of the debates I am reasonably convinced that I do exist. Until today.

It was a routine trip to the bathroom in my office. I went in to do my business and moved to the sink to wash my hands. Much like airport bathrooms, the sinks in my office bathroom are operated by motion sensors. You simply place your hands below the faucet and the water turns on. I chose a sink and placed my hands beneath the faucet. The water did not come on. The man at the sink next to me placed his hands under the faucet and the water came on. The man at the next sink did the same. The water came on. I waited, but no water. I said, "Huh, that's weird." Nobody turned to look. I waited. Still no water. No matter how I tried, the water would not come on. That led me to the only logical conclusion: I do not exist.

The motion sensor could not detect me, therefore I do not exist.

Also, I have dirty hands.


  1. This is off topic, but the Lt. Governor of Indiana is kinda scary looking.

  2. Personally I think you do not exist because I haven't taken the train and haven't seen you don't exist!

  3. Hmmmm...did you try another sink??? Maybe that one was just broken...

  4. Whaaaaaa?! Another sink? Nooo. You can't break existence.