Monday, July 17, 2006

It's So Hot...

The heat index in Chicago was 101 degrees today. It's so hot outside that...

...my shirt was constantly ironed.

...when I asked Subway to toast my sandwich, they took it outside for 30 seconds.

...the swamp in my pants is responsible for closing the hole in the ozone.

...I bought a bottle of Evian steam.

...the local paper read: The Chicago Surface-of-the-Sun-Times.

...Lake Michigan has been renamed Michigan Canyon.

...they've renamed my 5 year-old cousin Veal.

...the beaches turned to glass.

...fire only burns in the shade.

...Satan asked who turned on the air conditioning.

2 comments:

  1. We have inherited your heat wave....97...with a heat index of over 100...for the last two days and more to come....This should be illegal...It's too damn hot to breathe for god's sake...needless to say, I have been and will be residing at pool side....
    Hope things have cooled down some in the windy city!

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  2. Stay cool, SBS. We've been getting hit with some pretty awful heat as well. Big thunderstorms last night so hopefully things will cool down a bit.

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