Monday, July 17, 2006

It's So Hot...

The heat index in Chicago was 101 degrees today. It's so hot outside that... shirt was constantly ironed.

...when I asked Subway to toast my sandwich, they took it outside for 30 seconds.

...the swamp in my pants is responsible for closing the hole in the ozone.

...I bought a bottle of Evian steam.

...the local paper read: The Chicago Surface-of-the-Sun-Times.

...Lake Michigan has been renamed Michigan Canyon.

...they've renamed my 5 year-old cousin Veal.

...the beaches turned to glass. only burns in the shade.

...Satan asked who turned on the air conditioning.


  1. We have inherited your heat wave....97...with a heat index of over 100...for the last two days and more to come....This should be illegal...It's too damn hot to breathe for god's sake...needless to say, I have been and will be residing at pool side....
    Hope things have cooled down some in the windy city!

  2. Stay cool, SBS. We've been getting hit with some pretty awful heat as well. Big thunderstorms last night so hopefully things will cool down a bit.