Monday, August 27, 2007

My Diary

Dear Diary,
I am very angry with you right now. You are so selfish. I write in you everyday, but you never respond. You totally suck. For real. I mean, seriously, I totally pour my heart out to you every day and you give nothing back. You just sit there. Okay, maybe your pages turn a little yellow but that's not even close to what I've done for you. I mean, I like totally tell you all of my deepest, darkest secrets. Like remember when I had that huge crush on Clay Stephenson? I told you all about it. I told you how he used to wear that rugby shirt that totally made his blue eyes sparkle. Especially when he looked at me. I even told you about how he kissed me and tried to go up my shirt but I wouldn't let him even though I totally wanted to. I'm not a slut.

Anyway, my point is that I give and give and give and all you do is take and take and take. Kinda like Clay. He never told me how he felt. He just wanted to make out all the time. He wouldn't even hold my hand in public. But he didn't have any problems trying to touch my boobs when we were alone. By the way, Diary, I did eventually let him touch my boobs (over my bra) but I didn't tell you because I was waiting for you to share some of your secrets with me but you never did. So I never told you about it. See what happens when you don't put effort into our relationship? Secrets. Secrets happen. True friends should never have secrets.

If you want to save this relationship and ever hear any more of my secrets - and I have some big ones. Like how I let Clay's best friend Brad totally finger-fuck me after like the second time we made out just to piss Clay off for being such a jerk. That's the first time I ever let anyone do that. I'm not a slut. That's a pretty big secret, huh? You won't get any more secrets like that if you don't start sharing. It doesn't have to be anything big at first, maybe just who you have a crush on. I swear I won't tell. Not even Brad - and I'm thinking about giving him a handjob. See?! There's another big secret. C'mon, just share a little something with me. If you care about me, you will.

Oooh, Clay just called. He's totally jealous, I can tell. I know that Brad totally told him everything we did together because they are best friends and guys like to talk about what they get to do to girls. Clay was all, "I'm sorry about the way I treated you," and I was like, "Yeah? Well, it's too late. I'm totally going out with Brad now." He said that he knows but that he just really wanted to call and apologize. He also said that he feels bad for apologizing over the phone and that he would rather do it in person and that I should come over right now because his parents aren't home and we could have a serious conversation without being interrupted. He's so sweet. I think I'm going to go over there after I finish this. I wonder what I should wear?

For reals, Diary. You need to start giving back. I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied because I'm the only one giving anything up and it totally feels like you're taking advantage of me. I expect to hear some juicy stuff soon.

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