Like most newlyweds, we went on a honeymoon after our wedding. Thankfully, we were smart enough to not schedule our flight until the Tuesday after the wedding. That meant we had time to relax and pack after the big night. Which we did.
On Tuesday morning we got up before the ass crack of dawn and hopped a flight to Cancun, Mexico. Did you know that Cancun is in the state of Quintana Roo? Neither did I. That's an interesting fact I learned before our plane even touched down in Mexico. We made it to our resort by about 1pm local time - which is exactly the same as local time here. I did already know that not very interesting fact. We knew that we were officially on vacation when they brought us fruity drinks at the check-in desk. They might have been something called a Miami Vice. I'm not sure. I never had another one just like it the entire trip.
Our room was fantastic. We had more room than we needed and we had an ocean view - if we looked over the trees and the 25 star hotel in front of us. But I'm not complaining. We were very happy about the room even though we didn't plan on spending much time there. Dee and I quickly got out of our Chicago clothes and into our pool clothes and headed down to catch a little sun. We found a nice spot by the pool and settled in for some reading, naps and drinks. Around 3pm I was awoken by the sounds of an emcee announcing some sort of event happening at poolside. According to him a shark had infested the pool (a lady in a gray wet suit with a fin strapped to her back) and he informed us that he needed to call in the greatest super heroes of all time to try to clear the waters in our pool. Needless to say Dee and I were very concerned. We didn't want our whole trip to be ruined by a shark-infested pool. The emcee then introduced the first super hero - "Meester Eendeeana Chones!" Unfortunately, Indiana Jones was killed by the shark. The next super hero was quickly introduced - "Mary Poppins!" Yes, Mary Poppins. The super hero. She didn't fare much better. Neither did "Meester Batman" or "Meester Superman." Fortunately, some random guest at the resort was able to seduce the shark and save the day. Our pool time was saved and Dee and I knew we were in for some good times at the resort.
The next day we decided to schedule some excursions out into the beautiful lands of Mexico in the area. At my brother's recommendation we decided to schedule a trip to Xel-Ha. Dee really wanted to zip-line so we scheduled another trip to a ranch called Chichen-Ha. Xel-Ha was to be on Thursday and Chichen-Ha was going to be on Saturday. See how that seems so uncertain? I think that's what English professors call foreshadowing. After scheduling our excursions, we headed back to the pool and got tan. We also spent some quality time at the swim-up bar. After we used up all the good sun, we headed back to the room to clean up and get ready for dinner - at the resort's steakhouse. The food and drinks were good but we were plenty tired so we called it a night.
Around 5am on Thursday morning, I noticed that Dee was getting up out of bed. Then I noticed that she was getting up again around 5:30am. Then 6am. Then I asked her what was going on. She wasn't feeling well. Montezuma's Revenge. We got up and headed to the lobby to meet our tour for the day and let them know that we had to reschedule. Thankfully, they were fine with that. We went back to the room and got some more sleep. Eventually we got up and went to the pool to hang out for a while. After about an hour we decided to head to the lunch place and grab some food. As I was finishing up filling my plate, I noticed Dee at the bar ordering drinks and swaying to some song I assumed was playing in her head. Suddenly she began to fall and crashed into the person standing next to her. I set my plate down and lurched to grab her head just before it hit the floor. After a few seconds she was back with us and able to talk and move. We got her into a chair and got her some soda. We hopped a golf cart and headed over to the resort clinic to see what the doctor had to say. He told us that Dee was dehydrated and that she needed an IV. Unfortunately, they couldn't run an IV at the clinic and sent us to a hospital. Once we got to the hospital, we quickly decided that Dee would be fine if we got her back to the room and filled her with water and Gatorade. So that's what we did. Surprisingly, it worked.
For the next couple days we took it easy and made sure that Dee was fully recovered before doing anything too crazy. We pushed back our excursions to Sunday and Monday and decided to just enjoy the resort in the meantime. And we did enjoy it. We hung out at the beach, pool and ate at the delicious restaurants. We even made a few visits to the theater to see the crazy shows they put on every night. Good times.
Eventually, we were able to go on the excursions that we had planned and we were both feeling good enough to really enjoy them. Xel-Ha was fabulous. It was an exquisite inlet filled with crystal clear water and thousands of beautiful fish. We snorkeled, swam in the bay and jumped from cliffs into the water. As the day wore on, we floated around the "lazy river" and climbed across a rope bridge. We even walked around and enjoyed some of the grottos and trails.
The next day was the zip-lining and swimming in the cenotés (sink holes). We had a great tour guide who showed us around the ranch and made everything great fun. There are pictures - lots of them, and you can see them by going here. They tell their own grand story that I don't have the patience to tell anymore.
Besides, we left the next day.