Tuesday, April 22, 2008

LA Trip

I went out to LA this weekend for work. Unfortunately, it wasn't for performance-type work but for project management type work. Plus, the work was scheduled to take place from Saturday morning at 5am to Saturday afternoon at 5pm so I didn't even get to enjoy the weekend. That's why I make the medium bucks, right?

Anyway, my trip was not without incident. A few highlights:

-On the flight out to LA I sat in the middle seat between an old guy reading a book titled Explaining Christianity to Buddhists and a twenty-something girl who insisted upon curling into a ball in her seat and thrashing about for the entire flight. I didn't speak a word to either of them the entire flight and still managed to figure out that his final destination was Beijing, China and her final destination was Melbourne, Australia. That's some Monk-level detective work.

-My hotel room at the downtown LA Hilton was pretty freaking sweet. The bed was huge and they even offered to send Paris up to snuggle with me. I declined. After all, I'm married. I'm also allergic to penicillin.

-When I got into the office on Friday I had a pretty cool view of the city. I could see the "Hollywood" sign from where I sat and we were right next to the US Bank building.

-I woke up at 3:45am on Saturday morning to get ready for work. The sun was not yet up. I left the office at 1:00am Sunday morning. The sun was nowhere to be seen. Delightful.

-During those long hours, I heard a man say, "It's not the fall that hits you; it's the sudden stop that gets you going." Though I'm not sure he used a semicolon.

-Back in the office at 7am Sunday morning putting out fires. Not real fires. You know, solving issues. Left at 6:00pm which means that I didn't get to see much of LA. However, the conference room I was in overlooked Compton.

-After everything was done, we did manage to have a celebratory beer on the company. My company is named after an actual person, let's say it's Simon. When the manager picked up the tab he said, "This one is on Uncle Simon." Uncle Simon paid for all of my meals this weekend.

-The cab driver who drove me back to the airport was listening to Rush Limbaugh. When the cab driver asked me if "the radio was bothering me" I said, "No, just Rush Limbaugh." He said, "Okay," kept driving and left the radio as it was.

-As I was waiting to board my plane, they announced that the flight would be delayed because the pilot had to go home due to a "family emergency." I had a family emergency, too - I needed to go home to sex my wife, but no one was making any special concessions for me.

-I sat by a jovial Canadian couple on the flight home and was lucky enough to have the aisle seat. Unfortunately, there was a screaming child behind me who was only happy and quiet when he was allowed to roam the aisle and say hello to the rest of the passengers. I plugged in my headphones and watched The Great Debaters, a Harpo joint.

-The Great Debaters is just like Hoosiers, except the basketball teams are debate teams.

-The landing was unremarkable except for the fact that some guy managed to guide a 500,000 lb. hunk of metal that was falling out of the sky onto a concrete slab without incident.

-I arrived safely at home, exhausted from the weekend and from the trip. So tired that I wasn't even able to sex my wife.

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