Friday, May 29, 2009

What to Do While Your Wife is at a Bret Michaels Concert

1) Hope she doesn't get picked for Rock of Love.
2) Laugh quietly to yourself about the lock you secretly installed on her bra.
3) Talk dirty to yourself.
4) Walk the dog.
5) Text her a reminder that sex with Brett Michaels may be the rose, but an STD is the thorn.
6) Go have a beer with Courtney Love.
7) Update your monthly budget to reduce her shopping allowance.
8) Go out lookin' for nothin' but a good time.
9) Pick up your suit from the tailor.
10) Kick yourself for not secretly installing a lock on her pants.

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