My brother got married this weekend and Dee and I went down to Indianapolis to help celebrate. It was a fun and crazy weekend filled with lots of good times and strange times. A few highlights:
The weekend got off to a great start when Dee and I spent a half hour driving around the southwest side of Indianapolis due to the fact that our GPS was using outdated street names.
During the rehearsal, the priest kept saying, "I've been doing this for 33 years, everything with be fine" instead of actually telling people where they needed to be.
I discovered that my nephew Oliver has learned how to fist bump. When he wants to do so he says, "Pound it!" I then proceeded to show him how to "blow it up." We spent the entire weekend "blowing it up." His sister, Chloe, also joined in.
Speaking of Oliver and Chloe, they were the ring bearer and flower girl, respectively. They had a little trouble making it down the aisle so I had to go rescue them. When I got to them Oliver said, "Hi Uncle Jeff. Chloe is stuck."
The wedding was beautiful and everything went very smoothly. However, I discovered that I have little patience for wedding photos.
The limo ride was a lot of fun despite the blaring country music.
We got some pictures in front of the Indiana State House. I got a little teary-eyed.
I was very happy with my speech and many people complimented me on it even though I said, "turtle on a plate" at one point.
There was a meeting in the room next door to us that complained about the noise from our party. It's important to note that it was a group of the Indiana Order of the Amaranth and that no one at that gathering was younger than 80. Hotel security threatened to arrest our DJ - even though it was their fault they booked all those old farts right next to a wedding reception. This provided ample opportunity for me to do some yelling at the hotel manager. Best Man, indeed.
Beat It was played and I was asked to do the Beat It dance from Jerkology. I did it, gladly. Soon after, more Michael Jackson songs were played and there was a bit of an MJ style dance off. Did I win? No. Everyone won.
I ended the night by drunkenly wheeling a large cart of gifts out to someone's minivan. I'm hoping that the minivan belonged to Alyssa's parents or something. If not, Drew and Alyssa, I owe you some pots and pans.
Also, Dee and I forgot to bring our shower gift. Drew and Alyssa, we have knives for you.
Wait, Drew and Alyssa don't read this. Oh well, it's already written and I'm too lazy to delete it.
The next morning we ran into the newlyweds in the lobby of the hotel and Alyssa said to me, "Thank you for showing my brothers how to be a wonderful best man." I said, "Thank you for marrying my best man."