Monday, July 20, 2009

The Sunbather

“I think she’s looking over here.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, she is.  She’s totally looking over at you.”

“Give it up, man.”

“I’m just saying.  She’s a hot redhead - you know how rare that is.  You can’t pass this up.”

“I know, man.  What do you want me to do?”

“Go talk to her.”

“She’s face down with her top undone.  You want me to go over and strike up a conversation with a topless girl that might also be asleep.”

“She’s not asleep.  She just looked over at you.”

“Whatever.”

“Stop being a pussy and go talk to her.”

“You really don’t see how it might be creepy to strike up a conversation with a girl who’s top is undone?”

“It’s not like she can run away.”

“Real nice.  So I’ll just go over and strike up a conversation with a girl who can’t really move except to lift her head and expect her to feel completely comfortable talking to me."

“C’mon.  She’s out here checking people out like the rest of us.  You don’t come out here to sunbathe and not expect to get hit on.”

“It sure seems like she’s doing a lot to avoid being hit on right now.”

“If you don’t do it someone else will.”

“That’s fine.  I’ll let someone else be the creep.  I can talk to her when she’s in a more suitable state.”

“What is your deal?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  Respect for women, maybe?”

“Are you going to respect them so much that you never ask any out?”

“Have I said that I’m not going to ask her out?”

“Whoa.  No need to get angry.  If you get too loud she’s going to think you’re an asshole.”

“Why are you so worried about this, anyway?”

“I want to hit on her friend.”

“Her friend has her top on, why don’t you go talk to her?”

“I’m not going to be the jackass that goes over there while her redheaded friend is topless.”

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