I had this whole past week off work so it felt like one really long weekend that still wasn’t long enough. However, I’ll confine this weekend post to cover the past few days.
Anticipated Disappointment Averted
Thursday night Dee and I decided to go see The Hangover with a couple of friends. I’d heard all of the glowing reviews from the pros and from friends alike. However, a friend who’s opinion I trust said it was funny but not as hilarious as everyone is making it out to be. I wasn’t expecting the laugh-riot that everyone was describing. As it turns out it’s a pretty funny movie and I left satisfied. I’m glad I paid the extra money to see it in the theater - unlike I felt after Old School which is just a good rental. Dee and our friends loved it.
After the movie we made our way back to my neighborhood and went to a new-ish bar in the area. We had been told the place was gay-friendly so we expected a fun, mixed crowd. As soon as I walked in I immediately knew that every other man in the bar was gay. We found a table and settled in. I went to the bar to get us some drinks. As I waited, a man sitting at the bar looked at me and asked, “Are you gay?”
“No, I’m not,” I replied.
“Oh, I was sure you were,” he said.
“Um. Thank you, I think,” I asked as I looked confusedly at the guy sitting next to him.
“Yeah, I think he means it as a compliment,” Gay Guy Number Two said.
“Yes, I do. Too bad for you, though,” Gay Guy Number One said.
“I’m sure,” I replied.
I ordered our drinks and headed back to the table and told the story. Everyone laughed and made the standard, “Gay guys love you” comments. Since we hadn’t seen our friends in a while we started catching up on our lives when Gay Guy Number One came over to say hello. I introduced him to my wife and our friends and he started asking questions and telling stories. It was clear that he had been drinking for much longer than we had and he wasn’t making a whole lot of sense. We only understood him when he was talking about my gray hair. Eventually we were able to shoo him away. After he was gone, Dee’s friend turned to me and said, “We can’t take you anywhere there are gay people without causing a scene.”
I said, “Thank God Dee was too hungover for us to go to the Pride Parade.”
Friday evening Dee and I were invited to her friends’ place to hang out and celebrate the Nation’s birth. We had been trying to organize a large-size booze cruise, but it didn’t quite work out. Instead a smaller group of us made up some tasty snacks and grabbed our favorite booze and headed over to Dee’s friends’ place. Fortunately, they had a nice little common area in the back of the building that was perfect for hanging out and enjoying the weather. Unfortunately, the common area was surrounded on all sides by the building. We were told that we needed to use “conversational tones.” It became the catch-phrase of the evening any time anyone raised his or her voice. We kept it to a dull roar for a while. Then people started getting drunk and we decided to break out Lightning Xtreme Shock Game. Lightning Xtreme Shock Game involves four people holding those metal handles while a red light flashes. When the red light turns to green, you are to click the button on your handle. If you are the last to hit the button - or if you hit it before the light changes - you get shocked. As you might have guessed, that resulted in more than one loud scream. Soon we were greeted with the sounds of blinds clicking upwards and windows slamming downwards. We quieted down and put the game away.
After about an hour of keeping it relatively quiet, we thought we were in the clear when someone came out and announced that the landlord had just called saying that the residents were “livid.” We moved the party inside. It was almost 1:00 am after all.
I guess our “conversational tones” are still too much for the sleepy residents of Dee’s friends’ building.
4th of July and Other Birthdays
On the 4th, Dee and I drove out to the ‘burbs to celebrate our Nation’s birth and the birth of Dee’s grandmother. We celebrated 233 years for Uncle Sam and 85 years for Dee’s grandmother. The rain put a bit of a damper on the party, but Dee’s brother was brave enough to stand out in front of the grill with an umbrella and make sure we all had tasty burgers and hot dogs.
Before we finally decided to grill despite the rain, we spent a good amount of time waiting out the rain. We spent most of that time snacking on chips and dips and nuts and candies and all of the other snack-type things that show up at a celebratory barbeque. I snacked enough that I could only handle one small burger and a few twigs of asparagus. Plus, birthday cake. And ice cream. After all that, we packed up our doggie (yes, we brought Ruthie) and headed home.
The moment I walked in the door to our condo, my stomach began its revolt. Beer and snacks on Thursday and Friday night had taken its toll and my stomach was pissed. It initiated the evacuation sequence and I spent the rest of the evening in or very near the bathroom.
They say you get forgetful as you age. It seems as if my memory of the fragile nature of body is only about a month long.
Someone send me a reminder in a month so I don’t do this again.