1) Sneak into the kitchen to steal some gourmet cupcakes.
2) Watch porn really loudly in the next room.
3) Ignore your wife when she tells you to write down the names and brands of gifts that are being opened.
4) Walk the dog.
5) Try to remember the names of all of your wife’s friends.
6) Pretend you don’t know how to make the surround sound work when they want to watch The Bachelorette.
7) Take the opportunity to check out boobs that don’t belong to your wife.
8) Be a good boy and stay in the den until it’s all over.
9) Thank God that you live far enough away from everyone else that it’s not convenient to do this more than one or two times a year.
10) Pretend that you think the gourmet cupcakes are the best cupcakes in the world even though they taste like, you know, regular cupcakes.