Here are some bits of actual conversations I’ve had or overheard recently:
Astronaut
Dee: “You can’t be claustrophobic or afraid of heights if you want to be an astronaut.”
Me: “Right.”
Dee: “That’s why I’m not an astronaut.”
Me: “Yeah, that’s why you’re not an astronaut.”
Swing
Kid 1: “I got this swing up pretty high!”
Kid 2: “Not super high, though.”
Kid 1: “It won’t go up super high.”
Kid 2: “That’s why you suck!”
Schedule
Me: “We have to leave in about ten minutes.”
Drew: “Okay.”
Me: “Are you going to shower?”
Drew: “Yeah, but probably later.”
Me: “Are you going to put on some clothes?”
Drew: “For what?”
Me: “We have to leave in ten minutes for the Space Center.”
Drew: “Oh, I didn’t know we were on a time schedule.”
Dee’s World
Dee: “If you got a job writing for a TV show, I’d move to LA.”
Me: “It’s that easy, huh?”
Dee: “Then I could work at the gym of the lesbian that has the TV show.”
Me: “Yeah.”
Dee: “And then I’d be on that TV show. And I’d go on tour with Janet in my free time.”
Me: “Sounds like a plan.”
Dee: “Dee’s world. Dee’s world. Dee’s world. Doo dee doo.”
Stalactites and Stalagmites
Dee: “What’s the difference?”
Me: “A stalactite hangs from the roof of the cave, a stalagmite grows from the floor.
Dee: “Oh.”
Me: “Do you know what it’s called when a stalactite meets a stalagmite?”
Dee: “Combustion?”
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