…no one gives a shit about your fantasy football team. Especially me.
…your behavior is not excused simply because you admit to being a pain in the ass.
…aside from being completely wrong, it seems like cheating on your spouse takes way more effort than it is worth.
…i love my wife.
…if you’re on a large email chain where people are firing jokes back and forth you don’t need to respond with, “Oh my god, this is so funny. You guys are making me laugh so hard.” We know. We’re all hilarious.