Monday, September 21, 2009

My Other Projects

You may be surprised, but I do more than just write this blog.  In fact, I have several projects I’m working on at any given time.  Mostly I spend my extra time working on new books.  Below is a selection of the working titles of all of the books I am currently writing.

How to Keep All Those Weddings From Ruining Your Summer
My Uncle the Spaceman
My Dad Is Smarter Than Your Dad (Nicer, Too): True Stories From the Life of David C. Ford
There are No Accidental Stabbings: Why Guns are Stupid
Why I Hate You Because You Made the Easy Joke
Why I Hate the People That Laughed at You Even More (The much anticipated sequel to WIHYBYMTEJ)
Yes, That is My Real Name
Thirty-three Years Without a Raincoat: My Life Story
Don’t Be Offended, Everyone Else Bores Me Too
Posted by at 7:00 AM

6 comments:

  1. I will read all of these books. Maybe not in one sitting, though.
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  2. I'm just silently hoping I'm not one of those "obvious joke tellers." Crap, Ford hates me.
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  3. Mira, you're in the clear. You actually use your brain when telling jokes.
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  4. There are accidental stabbings. Did you ever see the first Final Destination movie;it is a true guilty pleasure? But to the point, there is that scene where the teacher's throat gets slit by the exploding ceramic coffee cup, then while writhing in agony reaches for a towel that is draped over the knife block (big mistake). She gets impaled by the eight inch chef's knife, which only finishes the job after the dishwasher door comes slamming down on it. Now the embalmer says that "In death, there are no accidents," but I would check the "News of the Weird" before going to the publisher.
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  5. Yes. While, technically, the act of stabbing was not accidental, the harm and death of the individual was: a marine bet his friends his issued tactical vest could stop a knife and his buddy stabbed him in the chest killing him.

    Maybe it went on the books as an accidental stabbing? What if I tripped and fell on the point end of a knife? Sure it might be dumb or bad luck -- but I still got stabbed. And not on purpose either.

    Oh. And guns are much better for war than knives. If you got rid of guns -- I would still have to fight with knives. And pikes. And swords and stuff. And even though it would be much more gruesome, we'd still do it.

    On a serious note -- I would totally read a book about your Dad. Especially if you gave it such a great title.
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  6. And I totally take credit for the above post. I just forgot to. David Mason.
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