Thursday, October 22, 2009

Fiction: The Final Journal Entry of a Ninja

November 7, 2008

I swore in my oath to the Society of the Timeless Voice that I would never speak, write or communicate in any way about the Society with anyone outside the Society.  I am breaking my oath, which is punishable by death.  This isn’t nearly as scary as it may sound.  Every oath and rule within the Timeless Voice Society is punishable by death.  Very rarely do they actually punish someone by death, though.  It’s hard to kill a ninja — even if you are another ninja.  This may turn out to be my suicide note, so let me start from the beginning.

As a young child, I was fascinated by Kung Fu movies.  Like any child who grew up in the suburbs, my parents then encouraged me to find a local martial arts school and enroll.  I did and I excelled.  From the very beginning I was the fastest learner in my class.  My Master recognized my talent and realized that I was special.  He sent me to another dojo for individual study under the Master of the Timeless Voice.  I thought that sounded super cool.  I thought I’d be like Jackie Chan or Chuck Norris.

I received individual training for five years before I was introduced to the other students.  Actually, I wasn’t introduced.  We all arrived wearing masks that completely covered our faces.  You know, like ninjas.  However, it didn’t occur to any of us that we were dressed like ninjas.  We were good fighters, but we weren’t exceptionally bright.  During our training we had been taught that we had to sacrifice ourselves to the Timeless Voice to reach our potential.  Our individual selves were a part of the Timeless Voice.  The masks were our reminder — and we bought it.

I studied for five more years with the Society of the Timeless Voice.  The group exercises focused on one-on-one and group combat.  We did not know faces or names but we knew each other by style.  We didn’t think it was strange.  It was just how the Timeless Voice worked.  During that time we were also trained in various arts and crafts.  I was assigned painting as it was supposed to teach me patience.

Eventually, the Master of the Timeless Voice asked me to lead a team on what he called a “rescue” mission.  I was lead to believe that one of our own was kidnapped by a rival group, and that we need to rescue him.  I accepted and my small team successfully completed the mission.  Shortly thereafter, I sold a large number of paintings on the arts and crafts site Etsy.com — $10,000 worth.  After this happened several times, I figured out what was going on.  I had become a mercenary who received his blood money via bogus arts and crafts sales on Etsy.com.

I had been secretly trained as a ninja and I was executing the agenda of the Master of the Timeless Voice.  I do not know the extent of his intentions, but I know enough of it to know that they are not noble.  It is the way of the Timeless Voice that I am not to question the judgement of the Master.  The Master hears the Timeless Voice and it guides him.  The Master only relinquishes his title when he dies or is killed.

Tomorrow I will become the Master or I will die.  Plus, all my paintings are 75% off for one day only.

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