1) Pretend you didn’t pick it up on the way home and wrap it on the train.
2) Scream, “SURPRISE!”
3) Get into the kitchen and start doing dishes.
4) Walk the dog.
5) Pretend she hasn’t already seen the charge on the bank account.
6) Tell her you’re going to the bathroom but actually sneak in there to sign the card you forgot to put with the gift.
7) Act really excited and hope that it rubs off on her.
8) Tell her that whatever gift she’s opening is from you, too.
9) Get a confused look on your face and say, “Hmmm, that’s not what I ordered at all.”
10) Hope that the bow hasn’t cut off circulation long enough to do any permanent damage.