It’s already December 7th. Can you believe it? If you can’t then you’re probably behind on your Christmas shopping. If you can believe it you’re probably still behind on your Christmas shopping. I know I am. I’m here to help, though. I’ve compiled a list of time-tested shopping tips to help you finish your shopping in time for your chosen holiday.
1) Go shopping during a recession, or ideally, during a depression. The crowds are much smaller.
2) If you can’t shop during a recession, ensure you have plenty of room to navigate the crowds by refusing to bathe or shower for at least a week before your planned shopping trip.
3) Be sure to clean out the trunk of your car. You’ll need a place to stash the bodies of the shoppers you’ve trampled to death trying to get the hot item of the season.
4) Instead of real gifts give your friends and family homemade coupons offering discounts on your love.
5) When shopping online use only cash so that hackers don’t steal your credit card information.
6) If you’re a guy, leave the shopping to the experts — have your wife do it all. If you don’t have a wife, don’t worry. Single men aren’t expected to be organized enough to give Christmas gifts.
7) Shop after the stores have closed. It’s harder to get in, but everything is free.
8) Don’t waste your money on boxes and wrapping paper. Bags are the trendy way to present your gift. Recycle your old grocery bags by coloring over the logo with a marker and drop your gift in there.
9) Trying to shop for that person that has everything? You can never go wrong with cheese. Everyone loves it and they always need more.
10) Order a bunch of gift cards and let people shop for themselves.