Now that I’ve given you my shopping tips for the holiday season, I thought I’d share with you what I want for Christmas so you can put those tips to work. My Christmas wish list for 2009:
1) Judaism for Dummies.
2) To be able to play the piano like Ben Folds.
3) For Glenn Beck to pull a Plaxico Burress.
4) A national law banning pot-luck lunches.
5) Someone to explain to me why Mary J. Blige is so popular.
6) Another Colts Super Bowl. You can be late with this one, I’ll understand.
7) Three sizes added to my heart.
9) Someone to explain to Jennifer Lopez that no one cares anymore.
10) New socks. Seriously. I need new socks.