Here's the Thing...

...I still haven't heard a good reason why an intelligent person would continue to watch The Bachelor.

...if you make a joke about being the only fat Indian man on the planet, you probably shouldn't follow that up by ordering a sandwich that comes with chips and then ordering extra chips.

...if you don't want to take me where I want to go, stop being a cab driver.

...sleep increases in value as you age.

...the Colts are in the Super Bowl, bitches!