Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Valentine's Day Throwback

Since Valentine’s Day is two days away from my wedding anniversary and it seems completely redundant to me, I dug through the archives of the original and found an old post that is relevant.  The following was originally posted on February 14, 2001.  It appears as it did then with some very minor changes.  Enjoy.

It's almost Valentine's Day and you're probably doing one of two things: 1) Enjoying the gifts and Sweet Things your Special Someone has done for you, or 2) hating yourself. I think most people share my love/hate relationship with this holiday; you love it when you're a sucker for somebody and hate it when you're just a sucker. I know which one I am. Which are you?

Just in case you happen to be lucky enough to have a Special Someone on which to shower gifts down upon, here are a few last minute gift ideas for you procrastinators.

First, I would like to mention to the fellas that if you haven't sent the obligatory flowers then none of these ideas are gonna make up for it. At the very least you have to send flowers. Are you some kind of idiot?

Gift Idea #1: One of your favorite CDs
This will show her that you want to share a part of yourself with her and allow the two of you to spend time together enjoying good music. Plus, you'll have something cool to listen to when you're over at her place instead of that stupid whiny shit that makes up her entire collection.

Gift Idea #2: A pair of thick, warm socks
There's nothing women like better than to curl up and keep warm on those chilly winter nights and a nice thick pair of socks will only help. Plus, you won't have to actually touch her stanky ass feet when she asks for a foot rub.

Gift Idea #3: Nads Brand Hair Removal Gel
This is a gift for the more adventurous folks out there. The two of you can enjoy this gift together. For those of you who don't know, Nads is a "completely natural hair removal product that looks like green toffee and can be used anywhere on the body." So, as you can see this has endless romantic possibilities. I suggest that you set the mood with candles and some romantic music and then when you and your lady friend start to "get freaky", seductively whip out your Nads and do your thing - be creative. Now, she might be a little hesitant at first, but once you start rubbing your Nads all over her body, I guarantee you she'll be into it.

Good luck, fellas...

Remember Nads?  Man, Nads used to be hilarious.  Happy Valentine’s Day from 2010, everyone.
(In these throwback posts, italics means 2010.)

1 comment:

  1. Actually, I asked Joe Important to buy me socks for Valentine's day. so he has met with approval.