I love bowling. It’s fun and easy and drinking doesn’t necessarily hurt your score. It’s practically the perfect sport. Except for all the germs. I’m not talking about the shoes. They have marginally effective sprays and people wear socks. That’s good enough for me. I wear thick socks. No, I’m talking about the balls. Not my balls. The balls they keep in the bowling alley. Those things are nasty.
Think about it.
They’re available for anyone to use and people just jam their grubby fingers in those holes without thought. You’ve seen how few people wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Especially at the bowling alley. No one ever sticks their fingers in just one ball, either. People try out about ten balls before they find the one they are going to use. That’s a lot of dirty fingers in and out of those balls. (I’ll refrain from making a “your mom” joke here.) You don’t even think about it, do you? You jam your fingers in there just like anyone else. Next time you’re at the bowling alley look around. Do you want to be putting your hands where all of those other people have put their hands?
Of course you do. Bowling is awesome.