Monday, March 29, 2010

A Thank You To My New Shredder

Dear My New Shredder,
Thank God you’re finally here.  Your predecessor stopped working several weeks ago and my important documents have gone unshredded ever since.  I’ve felt vulnerable.  I’ve felt exposed.  What if someone were to break into my place and grab that pile of documents?  I would be working on reclaiming my identity, that’s what.  Thankfully that didn’t happen but it’s been a scary and uncertain time.

Now you’re here, New Shredder, and life is good.  I feel secure again.  I fed you my important documents and you chewed them into tiny bits with reckless abandon, just like a good shredder should.  You even did it more quietly than the old one and my dog thanks you for that.  Ruthie would wake up from her naps and bark at Old Shredder.  She didn’t even flinch while you did your job, New Shredder.  And your basket.  Your wonderful basket.  It pulls out like a drawer and makes for easy disposal of my little important bits.  Old Shredder made me lift up the heavy shredding device and find a place for it while I emptied its bucket.  Not you.  You not only make my life more secure, you make my life easier.

Welcome to the family, New Shredder.  Thank you for keeping us safe.

Love,
Jeff Ford

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Todd would totally get this post. He's a fanatic about shredding things...seriously. To the point that I should maybe be worried.

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