|Tax Day. (The Ides of April is the 13th)|
- Apply for an extension.
- Wear a silly hat.
- Frantically call your employer and ask them to re-send your W-2.
- Refuse to file your return. The IRS will never miss your tiny little chunk of change.
- Sit back and laugh at all the jokers that didn’t file earlier.
Sure ways to get audited by the Federal Government:
- Fill out your 1040EZ so that it can only be read in a mirror.
- On line 20 (Social Security Benefits) write “for Socialists only.”
- If you owe write “For abortion funding only” in the Memo line of your check.
- If the Government owes you, ask them if they will wire your return to offshore accounts.
- Use staples. Lots of staples.
- In the occupation line write, “Illicit Narcotics Distribution.”