Are you really busy? I sure am.
Do you ever wish there were more hours in the day? Lot of people do, but they’re thinking about it the wrong way. You can’t get any more hours in the day. Everyone knows that. We don’t need more hours in the day, we need more days in the year. Why aim low? Let’s add days. In fact, I propose that we add a whole month. We’ll call it Junly (pronounced June-lie) and we’ll insert it right between June and July. Brilliant, right?
I know what you’re thinking. If we add four weeks to the year, that’s four more weeks that we’ll have to work. Wrong. There will be a national holiday right in the middle of Junly. It will be between Junly 12th and 13th and it will be called the Twelverteenth of Junly. We will celebrate time zones, Daylight Savings Time and other artificial constructs that we impose upon time. The celebration will carry over to the 13th which just happens to be the Ides of Junly (as the Nones will be the 5th so we don’t ruin the poem). Why will we also celebrate the Ides of Junly? Because that’s the day sex was invented. I think you’ll know what to do to celebrate.
I’ve thought of everything. There is absolutely no reason this can’t happen. I’ve checked the Internet and we’re all clear.
Call your Senator. It’s time to get some time back.