Monday, August 02, 2010

My Weekend at Cedar Point

Did you read the title?  No?  I’ll wait while you do.  Yeah.  I spent the weekend at Cedar Point and IT WAS AWESOME.  I’m not a big fan of writing in all caps but I really needed to make you understand how awesome it was.  IT WAS AWESOME.

Cedar Point has approximately 700 roller coasters and Dee and I managed ride eleven of them.  When we weren’t riding roller coasters, we were standing in line ranking the roller coasters.  I’ll give you my rankings with comments, but I won’t speak for Dee so you’ll see her’s without comment.

Without further ado…

The Corkscrew
Jeff’s Cedar Point Roller Coaster Rankings
1) Millennium Force
I could tell you that the first hill is 310 feet high.  I could tell you that you hit 93 mph.  Those things sound impressive, but they don’t tell you about the view of Canada or the tight turns that shift your organs around like the loose sacks of meat they are.  They don’t tell you that your hair looks like you stuck your finger in a light bulb when it’s over.  They don’t tell you that it’s inexplicably awesome.

2) Top Thrill Dragster
This ride is so cool that they set up bleachers for people to watch.  It launches you out of the gate at 120 mph and you go straight up, turn over and then straight back down.  It only lasts for about 15 seconds, but the feeling stays with you for a good 15 minutes—or until you poop.

This video doesn’t do it justice, but it gives you a hint.


3) Maverick
A surprisingly good roller coaster.  It doesn’t look impressive because the first hill is only 105 feet tall, but it descends at a 95º angle.  For those of you bad at math, that’s past vertical.  It’s also super fast and there’s a surprise halfway through that rocketed this one from middle of the pack to top three.  I won’t ruin the surprise because that’s what makes it awesome.

4) Mantis
Mantis is Cedar Point’s stand-up roller coaster.  I don’t mean that it’s a nice guy and has your back.  You are actually standing up while on this roller coaster.  Sound gimmicky, right?  Nope.  This is still a serious coaster.  It’s fast and has all sorts of fun tricks up its sleeve.  Even though it’s right out in the open, it’s constantly surprising you.

5) Raptor
This is the newest of the two inverted (hangs below the track) coasters.  Strangely, this was the ride with the longest line each day.  Dee and I couldn’t figure out why.  It isn’t new (it opened in 1994).  It isn’t the tallest or fastest.  It was fun, but it certainly wasn’t worth the hour and forty-five minute wait.

6) Magnum
Dee loved this one.  I didn’t.  I almost put it lower because it feels overrated to me.  It’s all about the 205 foot first hill.  After that, it’s kinda boring.  It made Dee giggly, so I guess that’s worth something.

7) Gemini
The Gemini is the requisite “racing coaster.”  For a coaster built in 1978, it still holds its own.  It’s not going to blow you away, but you’re still going to have fun.

8) Corkscrew
This one is as old as me, but it does turn you upside-down three times.  You know, like me.
Ladies?

9) Iron Dragon
The other inverted coaster.  It’s old and slow and makes a chugga-chugga sound like it’s on death’s door.  It’s kinda cute in its own way.

10) Disaster Transport
This one is indoors.  That’s its thing.  It’s dark and at a few points it’s just rolling along like a bobsled with no track.  It seems much cooler than it is.

11) Mean Streak
This one was brand new when I was last in Cedar Point in 1991.  It’s probably the last wooden coaster that will ever be built because it’s rickety, rough and more punishing than fun.  Or maybe I’m just old.

The Iron Dragon (insert chugga-chugga noise)
Dee’s Cedar Point Roller Coaster Rankings
1) Millennium Force
2) Magnum, Maverick (tie)
4) Top Thrill Dragster
5) Mantis
6) Raptor
7) Disaster Transport
8) Gemini
9) Iron Dragon
10) Corkscrew
11) Mean Streak

Obviously, Dee and I disagree on the Magnum.  Otherwise our lists are pretty similar.  Mine is the correct one, though.

Go to Cedar Point.  It’s AWESOME.

You can see the rest of my photos here.

1 comment:

  1. I love roller coasters and Brian and I LOVE amusement parks. Just this week we were talking about a day we spent with Jenny and Dee at Great America 6 years ago that was a blast! So glad you too love childish things still that truly bring such fun!

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