Monday, September 20, 2010

Random Updatery

I’m sure you’ve noticed that it’s football season.  My favorite time of year.  Well, sometimes.  This football season has not been kind to me so far.  Notre Dame won their opener against Purdue but managed to lose in the last minute against Michigan last week.  This week?  Well, they decided to kick me directly in the balls.  Several times.  They had a chance to put Michigan State away in the first half and couldn’t do it.  Instead, they decided to go to overtime and lose when Michigan State called a fake field goal for a touchdown.  Gutsy call by MSU coach Mark Dantonio (who had a heart attack after the game — I wish him a speedy recovery) which tore out my guts.  Just when I think this Notre Dame team has found the toughest way to lose, they surprise me again.  It’s going to be a long season.  A long season of kicks to the balls.

At least I have the Colts, right?  Not really.  They got steamrolled by the Texans.  Steamrolled.  Arian Foster had 231 rushing yards.  Who?  Exactly.  Nobody McGoo tore up the Colts defense.  Awesome.  (Thankfully, they seem to have recovered a bit as they are up 24-0 against the Giants at halftime as I write this.)

Facebook and Sexual Intercourse
In the last three weeks, I’ve received emails from Facebook like the one below.  The numbers have been different each time, but the fact remains that lots of people have birthdays in September.  It also means that people like to have sexual intercourse in January.  My guess is that people like to have sexual intercourse during all months of the year but they have more unprotected sex in January since it’s too cold to run out and get condoms.

Can someone use the Internet to check when the most STDs are contracted?  I bet it’s January.

The Weather
I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but I’ve been using the native iPhone weather app since I bought my first iPhone.  I know that this will hurt my tech nerd reputation, but it’s true.  I can’t lie to you, Readers.  I finally got sick of the limited information and constantly being dressed inappropriately for all but a few hours of the day.  Now, I get better weather information and I will be properly dressed.

Aren’t you glad you know that?

Am I supposed to know who the hell the dude in the Ford and Lee commercials is?  He calls himself Mike like I should already know that.  As far as I can tell he’s just the dude that does the Ford and Lee commercials. 

I recently received an email that read, “Do customers trust”  I thought, “Good question.”  Then I thought, “I don’t really have customers because no one buys anything from me.”  Then I thought, “But the people that come here to read my random musings for free are my customers.”  Sure, we don’t exchange legal tender but we still complete a transaction.  I write something, you read it.  If it’s not good, you leave disappointed and you might never come back.  If it is good, you leave satisfied and come back for more. 


Do you trust



  1. It's Mike from Dirty Jobs!

  2. Totally thought the same thing about how many September birthdays there are. Like 15 a week it seems like! January is shitty in the midwest so if they're all your friends from Illinois or Indiana, well that explains it. And no I don't trust you but your music taste is not bad. The little diddy "Fuck You" you posted a few weeks back is still stuck in my head. Sorry for the naughty words in this comment.