Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas Week

It’s Christmas week and you know what that means.  I’m going to be completely slacking off.  At home, at work and on this blog.  I can’t guarantee that you’ll see another post from me this week but I’ll do my best.  I can tell you that there will be no more Friday Roundups until the new year, but you already know that if you read last Friday’s post.  However, I hope to have something fun for you next week in the spirit of wrapping up the year.

Enough administration-speak.

I sure do hope that you finished all of your shopping.  I have not.  When I was out in California for work on Thanksgiving week, my wife did all of the shopping that we needed to do and because we had agreed before my trip that we would not be exchanging gifts, I thought I was all good.  Somehow, during all the confusion, Dee completely forgot that we weren’t exchanging gifts and she got me a gift.  Now I have to get her a gift.  I will most likely do this today.  I hope you left some stuff for me (or Dee, youknowwhatimean).

I do have some ideas for what I want to get her, but I’m not sure if they are good ideas.  Let me know in the comments if I’m on the right track.

  • I was going to put coal in her stocking but I’m looking for a more environmentally friendly option.  Any suggestions?
  • A new vacuum cleaner.
  • New snow tires.
  • A $25 Visa gift card.
  • A nose hair trimmer.
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Friday, December 17, 2010

The Friday Roundup

Do you like Fridays?  I sure do.  Know what else?  This is the last Friday Roundup of 2010.  Eat it up and lick the plate clean.

This Week in Mindsilt
Monday:
I offered you some of my random thoughts

Tuesday:
I told you how I felt about the daily grind

Thursday:
I was so pissed off about the daily grind that I didn’t post anything on Thursday.  Whoops.

Tweet of the Week
From Alec Sulkin
“White people have figured out the right way to hate each other without damaging the brand.”
See it here

Video of the Week
This dude does some crazy ass bike tricks and he does it so effortlessly.



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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Daily Grind

You know what I don't like?  The daily grind.  I don't like that I have to do it and I don't like that someone named it "the daily grind."  Eff that guy.  The last thing I need is some well-known name that makes the thing that I already hate to do sound just as bad -- if not worse -- than it already is.  Grind?  It's like I'm in the stone ages using an enormous stone wheel to grind down corn so that I can make cornbread.  Eff that.  That sounds horrible.  Why the hell would I choose to do that every day.  I wouldn't.  I'd much rather go into a climate controlled office and sit at a desk in an interior office with no windows or ventilation and stare at a computer all day with my only respite from that dungeon being a few overly long, overly boring meetings.  That sucks, but at least I'm not grinding shit, right?  So eff "the daily grind" and the daily grind.  Plus, the people that actually say "the daily grind" are assholes.  They say it like it's the funniest thing they've ever heard.  "The Daily Grind, right?  Ha, ha, ha!"  It's like we're all in on some kind of inside joke where we all actually love our day jobs but pretend to hate them because that's what you're supposed to do.  Eff you.  I actually hate my day job so stop giving it names and making it sound like it's hilarious.  It's not.  It's a drag.  Should we call it "the daily drag"?  Is that any better?  Because we drag our asses around all day.  Why don't we just call it what it is?  Giving up.

Happy Holidays!

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Monday, December 13, 2010

Random Thoughts

I have a recommendation for you: Go see Black Swan.  It’s fantastic and Natalie Portman is brilliant.

The Midwest laughs a blizzards.  With the exception of inflatable roofed buildings.  Otherwise, we’re all, “MWHAHAHAHA!  We have BOOTS!”

It’s weird as hell to be nervous before a performance.  I haven’t been noticeably nervous before a show in a very, very long time.  However, I’ve never done stand up before.  I was nervous as hell before my set but once I stepped on stage I felt good.

It’s awesome when your wife does all of the Christmas shopping.  I just wish she could shop for her own gift as well.  That’s how much I hate shopping.

I’ve gone from a guy who refuses to take any kind of supplement to someone who has a veritable pharmacy in my desk drawer.  It makes a difference.  I feel better.

Egg nog is delightful.

Even though I’m cackling wildly at the blizzard, I do wish that I could grow a proper beard to help fend off the cold.

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Friday, December 10, 2010

The Friday Roundup


String up the lights, the Friday Roundup is back!  I know you’ve missed it.  It’s missed you, too.  Time for some random funnery.



This Week in Mindsilt
Monday:

Tuesday:
I wondered again if it is just me or… 

Thursday:
You got to read about some of the Christmas things I love



Blog Post of the Week
This wasn’t posted this week, but it is too funny to pass up.  If you have or have had dogs you will love this story about moving into a new home with dogs.


Tweet of Week
“Every time I use my credit card & buy something expensive, then a black hair product the same day, I get a call from fraud protection. #Ha”
See it here


Video of the Week
These mathematical doodles have been blowing up the Internet this week.



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Thursday, December 09, 2010

Christmas Things I Love

I’m sure you’re quite confused right now.  You’re thinking that I seem more like the type of guy who would hate Christmas.  Well, I don’t.  I like Christmas.  I don’t love Christmas.  It’s not my favorite time of the year — that would be the beginning of football season — but I like it just fine.  In the spirit of the season, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite Christmas things.

Feliz Navidad by José Feliciano
I love this song.  It’s fun and bouncy and Dee and I have fun singing along.  I’ll sing “Feliz Navidad” and she’ll respond with “Do-do-do-DO-Doooo.”  It’s awesome and hilarious.  Next time you see us we’ll do it for you.

Egg Nog
Put. It. In. Me.  I love me some egg nog and Christmas time is the only time you can get it.  I can’t get enough and I don’t even need to mix it with alcohol.  I’ll drink that shit straight for lunch.  Sometimes my lunch consists solely of egg nog in December.

The Holiday Train
The Holiday Train
If you’ve lived in Chicago you know what I’m talking about.  For the Holiday season the CTA dresses up a train with lights and other holiday decorations and they play Christmas music in the cars.  There’s even a flatbed car with a huge sleigh that Santa rides in.  Oh, and they pass out candy canes.  It’s pretty sweet.

A Christmas Together by John Denver and The Muppets
I love this whole album.  Every Christmas I break it out and listen to it.  My grandmother used to play this every Christmas when all the grandkids went to her house to unwrap gifts.  That’s why I love it.  Also, it’s awesome.  “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat…”

Watching Ruthie unwrap her gifts
We usually get Ruthie something for Christmas and we wrap it up with some extra wrapping paper.  We toss it on the floor in front of her and watch her go to town.  It’s ridiculous how excited she gets and it’s just about the only time we encourage her to tear something to pieces.

Father Christmas by The Kinks
I know, there are three different music entries on this list.  I probably could have just written that I like Christmas music, but I don’t necessarily like all Christmas music.  These three entries are by far my favorite.  This one even lets me be a bit of a scrooge while still getting into the Christmas spirit.  You gotta love a Christmas song in which they threaten to beat up Santa.

Merry Christmas!

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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Is It Just Me or...

…are we all waiting for the Tea Party members to stop shouting and running for office so they can go back to writing angry notes that they post in our common areas?

…is it weird that people are grossed out by live birds but think it’s sad when they see a dead one?

…are you still waiting for someone to explain why the turnip truck is the hardest truck to fall from?

…does it feel awesome when you’re riding the elevator to the gym when everyone else is riding the elevator to go smoke?

…does everyone else feel a little racist when they wear a Band-Aid?

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Monday, December 06, 2010

I'm Back... With Excuses

I bet you’ve either been wondering what the hell has been going on for the past three weeks or you haven’t even noticed that my last post was on November 15th.  Yeah, November 15th.  That’s a long time ago.  There’s been a Thanksgiving since then.  If you’ve guessed that I was busy prepping a delicious Thanksgiving feast for my family, you couldn’t be more wrong.  In fact, I was nowhere near my family on Thanksgiving.  I was in California.

California?

Yes, California.  Why would anyone spend their Thanksgiving in California?  Well, sometimes you don’t have a choice.  Sometimes work requires that you go out to California over the Thanksgiving holiday so that’s what I did.  Don’t worry, I still managed to find turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy.  They have those things in California.  Who knew?  I thought they only had avocados, raisins and dirty, dirty hippies in California.  They also speak English. 

Anyway, I was pretty much working non-stop when I was there so I didn’t make time to post here.  Instead, I opted for meals and sleep.  Excuses, I know.  You expect your bad reality program reviews and random bits of crazy.  I have no right to deny you those things.  In fact, I’m going to try to make it up to you with the video below.  It’s not safe for work because it repeats the phrase, “Fuck you if you don’t like Christmas.”



Merry Christmas.

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