Thursday, January 06, 2011

It's My Birthday

Yesterday was the last day I could honestly check the 18-34 box on those corporate surveys you fill out in hopes of getting a free iPad or something.

You know what that means, right?

Today is the day I’ve finally grown into my gray hair. When you go gray as early as I did, people have no idea how old you are. They either guess something ridiculously young in an attempt to flatter you or they say 35. Until today they’ve always been wrong.

How will I celebrate my birthday? By thinking about my mortality and frantically scheduling doctor’s appointments. Also, going to meetings, sitting at my desk and figuring out where I’m going to get the money to send my daughter to Notre Dame. Or Stanford. Or Duke. Or Harvard. But definitely not Arizona State. That’s where slutty girls go to school — so I’m told. My little girl is going to be a sweet, perfect genius. No pressure, little fetus.

Anyway, year 35 is going to be a big one for me. Let’s hope the past 34 years have given me what I need to make it through year 35 and whatever comes after.

Also, if you want to do something nice for me on my birthday, make a donation to my Dad’s scholarship fund. The scholarship goes to a promising young kid who has shown an interest in technology.

Check payable to:
Blackford County Community Foundation, Inc. Write “David C. Ford Scholarship” in the memo line.

Send to:
Benjamin E. Oswalt
121 North High Street
P.O. Box 327
Hartford City, IN 47348

Thanks and happy birthday.

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4 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday, you old fart! Don't forget, U of I outranks many of those schools you listed and you can't beat in-state tuition. Also, I thought all the slutty girls went to Illinois State...or so I am told.-ZLAM

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  2. That's really low Brian! Atleast most slutty Zetas didn't take 10 years to finish college like you did and little Ford Fetus will be perfect just like her mommy and daddy! ( you like that sucking up since its your birthday?)

    Happy Birthday! This will be the best year ever!

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  3. I was not slutty but my roommate was a total whore.

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