Thursday, June 30, 2011

On Having a Baby

I love my daughter.  I love her more than I could have imagined.  She is over a month old now.  I’d love to tell you that the first month has just flown by, but it hasn’t.  In fact, I’m not even comfortable recommending that someone have a baby.  If you came to me right now and asked me if you and your significant other should have a baby, I would probably say no.  

Does this mean I regret having a baby?  Absolutely not.  I couldn’t be happier that Dee and I brought a beautiful little girl into this world.  I just don’t know that I would ever want to do it again.  Why?  Let me list the reasons.

1) The birth took a severe toll on my wife.  Her labor was rough (until she got the epidural).  The delivery was even rougher.  She had a C-section and even then the baby did not come out easily.  She lost a lot of blood — enough that she needed several blood transfusions.  She couldn’t even stand up for two days.  She’s still not fully recovered.  She can walk, but not at her normal pace.  She can’t lift anything heavier than the baby.  She couldn’t even walk our tiny little dog for the first week after we came home.  

2) The constant feeding takes a severe toll on my wife.  If she’s very lucky she gets three straight hours of sleep at a time.  She’s constantly tired and she barely has time to do anything besides sleep and feed the baby.  She’s a very strong woman and her spirits are mostly high, but sometimes she breaks down and it breaks my heart.

3) You get almost nothing back.  The baby can’t really do anything yet.  She doesn’t laugh or smile (anything that looks like a smile is just gas).  She cries, eats, poops and sleeps.  The only thing she can do is look at you.  Sure, that melts your heart, but you know there’s nothing behind it.  Especially once you realize that simply picking her up and being close to her doesn’t make a difference to her screaming ways.  On the other hand, you know it’s not personal.  

Talk to me two months from now and I’ll probably feel differently.  She’ll be making noises and laughing at my silly faces and playing with toys and reading novels.  I’m sure I’ll tell you that it’s the best thing in the world, but right now all I can tell you is that it’s really hard.  Really, really hard.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Why I Use Twitter (and You Should, Too)

I love me some Twitter.  I use it all the time even if I’m not posting every day and I think you should use Twitter, too.  Here’s why:

1) News comes to you.  You can follow your favorite news service and all of their news lands right on your Twitter page.  You can even search out your favorite journalists and follow them.

2) You can also find and follow your favorite celebrity/actor/comedian/athlete/chef/band/whatever and interact with them.  You want to know more about the dude that plays Gus on the hit USA original series, Psych?  Just click here.  If you’re at the right place at the right time, you can sometimes get free or discounted tickets to your favorite band.

3) It can save you money.  If you have a smartphone, you can use Twitter as a text messaging service.  All you have to do is download the Twitter app and set your phone to alert you when you get a Direct Message from Twitter.  Bam, text message replacement.  Now all you have to do is talk all your friends into joining Twitter (just like I’m trying to do right now [is it sad that I think I can reach all my friends by posting on my blog?]).

4) It’s fun.  People post hilarious shit and it’s almost always the first place I read about any big news item and it makes it really easy to share all the cool stuff you find.  It’s Facebook without all the bullshit.

Now that I’ve totally convinced you to join Twitter, I’ll expect you to let me know when you join so that I can follow you and we can start being awesome together.


Monday, June 27, 2011

Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts from the past two weeks:

I really like watching tennis but the grunting and screaming in women's tennis is becoming comical. It's hard to take some of these women seriously.

It reminds me of all of the flopping in professional basketball. I almost completely stopped watching the NBA after Reggie Miller retired in 2005; now that I'm watching again, the league has gone from a bunch of tough guys to a bunch of floppers. If the NBA doesn't do something to reign it in they'll lose everyone who isn't a soccer fan.

Now that I'm a father I've officially given up. I now own a pair of sweatpants. They are made from a blend of cotton and sexual intercourse.

I just ate so much popcorn that I totally ruined my dinner.

Our dog can totally tell that we don't love her as much as we love the baby.

Will a time ever exist where there isn't a Law & Order of some type on TV?

People should be more careful about how they pronounce "peanuts" in the workplace.

I've become that guy that says things like, "She's getting married at 22? She's just a kid."

It took a lot of willpower to keep from posting a picture of my adorable daughter here.

I've started another blog with my extremely hilarious friend Tristan. We take turns entertaining each other with our special brand of crazy. Start from the beginning or it won't make much sense. Check it out here.  Keep checking back.  We each post about once a day.


Friday, June 10, 2011

The Kitty Dilemma

I took this photo on Wednesday morning while I was on my way to the train.  If you look closely, you can see that there is a cat sitting on the ledge of that third story window.  When I noticed it sitting there, my first thought was, "Hey, look.  A cat."  My next thought was, "He seems to be stuck on that ledge."  He was mewing loudly and pacing back and forth.  In this particular photo, he seems to be contemplating a three story jump to the ground -- or possibly an even riskier one story jump onto the ledge or sign below.

I thought briefly about trying to help the cat.  But what could I do?  Ask the thing to leap down into my waiting arms?  First, I don't know the cat command for "jump, I've got you."  Second, I was dressed for work and I was wearing a shirt that I particularly liked that day.  I don't need flailing cat claws and teeth tearing my shirt to shreds.  Plus, what would I do once I caught the cat?  It was 6:30 AM.  I wasn't going to shout up to try to wake the owners and the rest of the neighborhood.  Could I just dump the cat in the building's courtyard and hope it didn't get out before the owners found it?  Besides, can a cat really be owned?

I thought about all of these things and I might have thought of more but capitalism was calling.  I mean, how is this economy supposed to recover if I'm not spurring it along with my substantial project management skills?  I needed to get to work.  The cat was going to have to figure this on out on his own.

But I did do one thing before I walked away.  I took this picture and posted it on the Internet.


Friday, June 03, 2011

The Friday Roundup

Are you sad?  Sorry, I can’t help you.  I can offer you a Friday Roundup.  I can also send you a bunch of adorable pictures of my newborn.

This Week in Mindsilt
I wrote about why I hadn’t been posting.  Hint: I had a baby.

I gave you a glimpse inside my home with our new child.

Tweet of the Week
From Alec Sulkin:
“Wanna listen to Pearl Jam?” “Nah. I’m just gonna take a tough shit in work boots.”
See it here.

From the Mindsilt Archives
Some Random Thoughts from last November.

Video of the Week
Once again, I give you another installment of Matrimonious.  This week, Pipe.

Matrimonious: Pipe from Dan Aho on Vimeo.