Thursday, October 06, 2011

750 Words -- My Thing

As I mentioned before, I write 750 words every morning on a site called  It’s often a bunch of nonsense but some days I hit on something that is a little fun.  I posted a portion of one of my entries in the post linked above and now I’m going to do it again.  Enjoy.


Oh man.  Today is another one of those days.  I feel super tired.  I had trouble waking up this morning and I was really, really tired last night before I went to bed.  In fact, I probably should have just gone straight to sleep instead of reading for a while, but reading is what I do before bed.  It's my thing.  Not really.  If reading before bed was my official thing then I would be pretty fucking lame.  Reading before bed is just about the lamest thing in the world to have as your thing.  Can we think of something lamer than that to have as your thing?  Breathing?  Walking around?  Walking around could be kinda cool depending upon how you do it.  If you have a leather jacket and a baseball bat or an automatic weapon while you walk around it gets much cooler.  However, I'm not sure that people would say your thing is walking around in that case.  They'd probably say that the gun toting or baseball bat toting was your thing.  So yeah, walking around would be pretty lame to have as your thing.  Thinking?  No, that can be cool -- especially if it's your thing.  You know, thinking was Albert Einstein's thing.  That was pretty cool.  Sitting?  Yeah, that would be lame.  Looking at things?  That's definitely lame to have as your thing.  Trimming your fingernails?  Yep.  Liking dogs?  Kinda.  Looking at dogs?  Creepy.  Eating?  Gross.  What else?  Writing?  Writing could be cool if it's your thing and you're good at it.  It could also be really lame if you're not good at it and you still think it's your thing.  Am I describing myself?  No, I don't think that writing is my thing.  It's one of my things, sure.  But it's not uppercase My Thing.  I have a lot of things but I don't really know what My Thing is.  Should we decide that right now?  I sure do hope My Thing is not being funny because I'm not very good at that.  Sure, I'm funny.  I'm not professionally funny, though.  I make no money from being funny.  So I hope that's not My Thing because it really is the thing of people like say, Louis CK and Chris Rock and any other number of professional comedians.  So let's not call that My Thing.  Some people at work might think that My Thing is working out.  I will not claim that as My Thing, though.  There are way too many other dudes that have claimed that.  Most of them live in Jersey.  They take steroids and lift way too much weight and don't eat anything but supplements.  That's not me.  I will not claim working out as My Thing.  Computers?  I know a lot about computers.  I can fix and make them do more than most people.  That makes me good at using computers but it doesn't make it My Thing.  There are people out there who can make their computer go into other people's computers who don't want them in their computers and then they can root around in other people's computers and do things that those other people may not want them to do on their computers.  I can't do that.  I don't even know where to start.  I have an idea, but no real incentive or reason to do so.  Less than that, I don't even ever really use the command line on any of my computers unless I'm following directions directly off the Internet on how to use it.  Though, I did just use the term “command line” and that’s pretty computer nerdy.  Anyway, anyone can follow command line directions from the Internet.  So, not My Thing.  What else?  Improv?  Nope.  Kinda, yeah, but nope.  No one in the improv community would be all, "Jeff Ford, that guy is improv.  He's got this shit down."  There are lots and lots of people for whom improv is their thing and those people are way better at it than me.  Now, don't get confused.  I'm not saying that I have to be the best at something for that thing to be My Thing.  I'm just not sure that those things could be My Thing because it belongs to so many other people who have really taken it to a different level.  Plus, I’m not willing to hang out at iO 24/7 — that’s a requirement for making improv Your Thing in Chicago.  I’ve taken those things to a certain level but not a different level.  To an outsider it might seem like I've taken it to a different level, but the insiders know better.  Anyway, I'm not willing to call either of those things My Thing.  Especially because I'll eventually stop doing improv.  I know this already.  Loving my daughter?  That could definitely be My Thing.  I know that is also a lot of people's thing but I'm okay with that.  I'm more than ready to love the absolute shit out of my daughter.  Hell, I'm already doing it.  I went into her room this morning while she was sleeping to get my clothes for work (my clothes are all in the closet in her room) and she looked up at me in the dark, dark, darkness of the room because she has some kind of super night vision and it was just about the best thing ever.  I had to reach into the crib and stroke her head and face and then rub her back and try to put her back to sleep.  So yeah, that could be My Thing.  Maybe looking for My Thing is My Thing.

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