Friday, December 16, 2011

Neglect


Have I been neglecting this blog?  No.  Yes.  Yes, I have.  More importantly, I have been neglecting you, Mindsilt.com Reader.  (Is it okay that I’ve stolen that bit from Schadenfreude.net?  I think it’s okay since my work appeared there consistently for over a year.)  You are the people I am most concerned about neglecting.  A blog has no feelings.  A blog can’t come up to me and say, “Jeff, I’ve sunken into a mild depression because I miss your posts.”*  A blog isn’t disappointed when no one is clicking on its frond end to read or on its back end to post.  A blog waits patiently and responds when — and only when — called upon.  Readers are an entirely different beast.  You have feelings.  You can come up to me and talk about your depression.  You can be disappointed when you check Mindsilt.com or Google Reader or your own Blogger.com blog and see that nothing new has appeared in several weeks.  However fleeting those feelings might be, you have them.  Except for those of you who aren’t capable of feelings.  You feel nothing and that’s not normal.  You should talk to someone about that.  Preferably a professional, but I am here for you if you need me.**  Anyway, I don’t want you to feel those feelings.  I want you to feel the feelings of satisfaction and joy when you realize that I have posted something new to Mindsilt.com.  I want those feelings to last at least until you start reading.  Ideally, they’ll last for the entire time that you are reading but I can’t make those kinds of promises.  
I think you get my meaning.

I apologize for the neglect.  I hope to rectify the problem with some good and interesting posts before the end of the year.  I’ll even do an Oprah-style “Favorite Things” post except I won’t be giving anything away to my audience.  I’m also busy crunching numbers based on my workouts and fitness for the year.  That will probably only be interesting to you, Brian.  Plus, I think The Bachelor is coming back in January so you can look forward to those reviews, too.

I haven’t forgotten about you, Mindsilt.com Reader.  I appreciate your readership so much that I want to gently stroke your cheek with the back of my hand and open mouth kiss your bellybutton.
Don’t give up on me.  I haven’t given up on you.


*No one has ever in the history of the world come up to me and said, “Jeff, I’ve sunken into a mild depression because I miss your posts.”  However, that doesn’t mean that people aren’t feeling that way.

**I’ll probably just listen patiently and then tell you to speak with a professional.  Of course, I mean a professional psychiatrist or psychologist.  I am merely a professional project manager.  They don’t have Gantt Charts for feelings. 
****

1 comment:

  1. Oh, how I have missed you! Careful when you go to tongue my belly button. It is deep and you never know what you are going to find in there!

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