Monday, December 19, 2011

Weekend Football Thoughts and Other Things


Miracles do happen!  The Colts beat the Titans 27-13!

Tim Tebow lost yesterday.  That means America will stop believing in God, right?

Tim Tebow’s stat line from yesterday’s game: 11-22 for 194 yards passing, 0 touchdowns, 0 interceptions, 2 fumbles (1 lost).  Twelve rushes for 93 yards and two touchdowns.  Nineteen handoffs for 159 yards and one touchdown.  Approximately 55 prayer-inspired tackles and one prayer-inspired 26-yard field goal.  One loss.

Here are the early games you got to choose from this week.  Imagine you didn’t know the outcomes:
Dolphins @ Bills — The battle for last place in the AFC East!
Seahawks @ Bears — Who likes terrible quarterbacks?
Panthers @ Texans — We dress like two Arena League teams!
Titans @ Colts — We can’t stop the run!  Neither can we!
Packers @ Chiefs — Let’s watch Neckbeard (Kyle Orton) lead another terrible offense!
Saints @ Vikings — Will the Saints score 70?
Redskins @ Giants — Rex Grossman!  Still playing quarterback!
Bengals @ Rams — Will the Rams even bother to show up?
A couple of those games turned out to be pretty good — Packers at Chiefs and Redskins at Giants — but the rest were stinkers.

Let’s not even talk about the Thursday (Falcons 41, Jags 14) and Saturday (Cowboys 31, Bucs 15) games.  Yikes.

Dee can’t get over the fact that the NFL Network called the Saturday night game, “A special Saturday night presentation of Thursday Night Football.”

I also think it’s stupid but I’ve let it go.

With the Colts’ win and the Packers’ loss, there are no more zeroes in the NFL standings.  I’m not counting the zero in the tens, smartass.

Strangely, the Colts last two games (vs. Houston, at Jacksonville) are actually winnable.  They may still play themselves right out of that #1 pick.

My one piece of breaking Notre Dame news: I could really use another pair of these super comfortable Notre Dame sweatpants.

How do the Ravens get Ray Lewis back and then decide to completely roll over against the Chargers?

Guys, don’t watch the Johnny Knox injury.  It’s amazing that he still has the use of any of his limbs.

Al Michaels says “Cleveland” like it’s the punchline to a sarcastic joke about the greatest city in America.

Isn’t Joe Flacco supposed to have a cannon for an arm?  Why does he always check down to Ray Rice?  I know Ray Rice is really good and checking down to him is a good option, but Flacco doesn’t throw the ball to anyone else.

Do they make TVs that allow you to divide the screen into quarters and watch four shows at once?  I ask because I’m in the midst of planning my man cave that I hope to eventually have sometime in the not-so-near future.  I also plan to install a courtesy sweatpants closet so all guests can slip into their own pair of sweatpants.  I want my guests to be comfortable.

Also, do you want to be my friend?  I’ll need someone to come over and marvel at my yet to exist man cave.

I haven’t watched the 49ers play all year.  However, I did see Stanford play twice so I’m pretty sure I’m up to speed on how they play.  I guess we’ll see tonight.
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