I’ve never been a fan of musicals but they seem to be more popular than ever. Since it seems successful musicals can be made about anything, I’ve decided to write a few of my own.
Hipsters, Bacon and Pirates: The Musical — A gripping tale of heroic hipsters trying to rescue the world’s bacon supply from the clutches of greedy (and hungry) pirates. The hipsters are aided by a robot made from cans of Hamm’s Beer (earlier versions had a robot made from PBR cans).
Bros, Bro: The Musical, Bro — The story of a hardcore bro trying to save his bro from getting married to the woman he loves because that’s totally gay, bro. The hero is aided by a robot made from cans of Natty Light.
Glee: The Un-Musical — I take scripts from episodes of Glee and remove all the music to create the least interesting yet highest selling Broadway show of all time.
Twitter: The Musical — Every character sings and speaks in 140 character bursts, complete with @ replies and hashtags.
The Book of Mormon: The Musical — I rewrite the script of The Book of Mormon only I make it a musical.
Family Videos: The Musical (working title) — The story of a blond lady who makes a video that her husband “probably shouldn’t watch on the plane” from that cell phone commercial. I haven’t yet decided if she’s a spy.
Facebook: The Musical — A familiar story about the travails of young love, but once you really get into the story and figure out who everyone is, EVERYTHING changes so you’re completely lost. Rinse, repeat.