Tuesday, January 03, 2012

The Bachelor Episode #1 -- Not A Review


This is where my review of The Bachelor would be if I bothered to watch the show.  I did not watch the show because there were two good football games on (Rose Bowl and Fiesta Bowl).  Also, my reviews are no longer appearing on Schadenfreude.net so I don’t have anyone to withhold my paychecks if I don’t post on time.  Well, I will withhold my paycheck from myself but I’m okay with that since I’m collecting interest.  Everybody wins.

Anyway, I’ll be back to my reviews next week.  For now, you’ll have to be content with the following:

Why do The Bachelor producers always pick the lamest loser from the previous season to be the next season’s star?  Are they trying to prove a point?

Helicopter never shows up in the first episode so I’m not missing anything.

Also, I’ve got a crying baby with a chapped ass who can’t get comfortable enough to sleep.  Because HER ASS IS LITERALLY CHAPPED.  Poor baby.  The point is that I wasn’t able to watch much of the games so I wouldn’t have been able to watch much of The Bachelor.

One of Stanford’s cheerleaders is smarter than all of the contestants on The Bachelor.
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