Tuesday, October 29, 2013

It's Been A While

Look guys. I'm back!

That's right, I'm posting on the ol' blog again. I was doing pretty good there for a while but now it's been about three weeks since I've posted anything. What happened?

I'll tell you what happened. Work happened. I had to travel to Los Angeles, CA and San Francisco, CA in the span of three weeks. Sometimes my very important position as Chief Muckety-Muck In Charge of Various Tech-Related Things at my company, Law Craftspeople Incorporated, LLC, requires me to travel. The past three weeks was one of those times. Well, two.

You see, Law Craftspeople Incorporated, LLC has this really sweet travel deal where they pay for all my travel. Well, I paid for it but then my company (who is legally a person) reimbursed me. All I had to do was get receipts for most of the stuff I did and give those receipts to the Mayor of my company. The Mayor then deposited a fat stack of singles directly into my bank account. ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE? I skipped over the part about filling out lots of forms but that's basically how it worked. Even with the forms, it's still pretty amazing.

ANYWAY, I know you felt a void in your soul while I was gone but you will be happy to learn that while I was in Los Angeles, CA and San Francisco, CA I was careful to collect experiences about which I could write. I can't recall any of those experiences due to the smog (Los Angeles) and fog (San Francisco) but I can give you a few tidbits about what I did while I was there.

I discovered that downtown L.A. is where they film all of the car commercials. Not a surprise, but I felt like I should have been surrounded by impossibly clean cars and floating lists of features and APRs.

I saw and smelled the LeBrea Tar Pits. They are just right there in the middle of L.A. I mean, L.A. is huge but they're right there well within the city limits. I also learned that going to the Tar Pits is a rite of passage for elementary school children in L.A. similar to going to the Museum of Natural History for Chicago-land elementary schoolers.

I impressed my friend by eating every last bite of a very large sandwich at a delicious Jewish deli. He'd never seen anyone eat the whole sandwich before. I also finished a plate of fries. The Tar Pits make you very hungry.

The faceless non-staring statues
In San Francisco, I was not stared at by these three faceless statues that stood directly out of my office window.

I went to a Chinese place and had breaded crab. However, the breading was on the OUTSIDE of the crab shell. This meant I had to eat the breading off of the shell, then crack the shell to get to the crab meat. Thankfully, I've eaten peanuts at a baseball park before so I was familiar with the general process of tasting the shell and then releasing the juicy morsel inside.

I watch the Notre Dame-USC football game at a Notre Dame friendly bar in downtown San Francisco. I did not know a single person there but I totally knew everyone there.

While at that bar, I was hit on by what can only be classified as a Cougar. Keep in mind that I'm 37.

I also met her daughter who had just graduated from college.

That very same night the guy I was sitting next to was offered Adderall by the very chatty woman sitting next to him. He declined. I was not offered any Adderall presumably because my intent and consistent focus on the Notre Dame game clued her in to the fact that I do not have ADHD.

I answered the question, "What is something you've never done before?" With, "Successfully potty trained a child."

I hugged a Vikings fan. He really needed it.

All on the Law Craftspeople Incorporated, LLC company dime. Well, not all of it. I couldn't figure out how to submit a receipt for "getting hit on by a Cougar" and I definitely don't feel like I need to be reimbursed for my hugs. Or my drinks. I didn't submit my drinks but otherwise it was all free. Sure, I had to work all of both Friday nights and most of both Saturdays but it was worth it.

Anyway, that's why I haven't been posting the past three weeks.

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