Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Q&A on The Bachelor #1

Mark asks:

If a female Bachelor contestant can do the show for an indefinite period of time and also be considered “a good mother”, what would it take for someone to be considered “not a good mother”? And can time on the show somehow be considered “work /life balance”?

You ask a complicated question. I’m going to assume this is a hypothetical for several reasons. First, I don’t think anyone NOT on the show thinks that any of these women are, or ever will be, good mothers. “Appearing on The Bachelor” fits my #1 criteria for being considered not a good mother. Of course, that assumes that these women are NOT actors. If, in fact, they are actors then they may still be considered good mothers as it is assumed that their “children” are also actors. I do believe that actors can be good mothers. 

If they are actors, time on the show would not be considered work/life balance. It would just be work. If they are NOT actors, it cannot be considered work/life balance because there is no balance. They have basically decided to neglect their duties as a mother in order to go to dating boot camp for about twelve weeks. That’s not balance, that’s just being selfish. A good mother finds a way to date without putting her motherly duties on hold. Granted, this is not easy but no one ever said being a parent is easy. I’m a parent and I cannot — nor would I want to — check out of being a parent for twelve weeks.

However, if you are a male contestant on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette you can be considered a good father simply because you have a child and mention it on the show. That’s because the bar for fathers is set extremely low. (I’ve written about this before) Or because everyone assumes the kid is with the mother. 

Basically, my suggestion is to be a straight, white, middle- to upper-class male. It solves a lot of problems.  

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