Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Tips on Health/Fitness

If there’s one thing I’m comfortable saying about myself, it’s that I’m fit and healthy. I’ve got all sorts of medical documentation to prove it. In the many years I’ve spent maintaining my health, here are a few things I’ve learned:

DON’T go on a diet.
DO change the way you eat.

DON’T do a cleanse.
DO avoid cleanses at all costs.
Seriously, don’t ever do a cleanse.

DON’T worry about missing a day at the gym.
DO make sure that one day doesn’t turn into one month.

DON’T think of health or fitness as something you can achieve.
DO think of health or fitness as something you have to maintain.

DON’T keep doing a workout you hate.
DO try everything so you can find those workouts you love.

DON’T do the same thing every day.
DO change your routine frequently.

DON’T believe anyone who tells you it’s possible to lose X pounds in X days by doing/eating “this one thing.”
DO understand that fitness is a combination of many things to be done consistently.

DON’T try to get in shape in one day or month.
DO understand that fitness takes time and dedication.

DON’T forget that pain is an important way your body communicates with you.
DO learn the difference between soreness and injury.

DON’T completely deprive yourself of the unhealthy foods you love.
DO make your favorite unhealthy foods a rare treat or reward.

DON’T set one goal and myopically focus on it to the exclusion of all else.
DO constantly review and revise your goals based on your current level of fitness.

DON’T weigh yourself every day.
DO weigh yourself weekly if it’s a necessary part of tracking your progress.

DON’T punish yourself for not reaching your goals.
DO recognize the gains you’ve made.

DON’T be fooled into thinking that fitness is a way to extend your life.
DO understand that fitness is a key to a better quality of life.

If there’s one thing you take away from this, remember that fitness is not an activity. It is a lifestyle.

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

A Revision Revision: My ND Football Preview

Last week, I revised my "Best Case Scenario" published in my original ND Football Preview. After the 31-0 blowout of the Skunkbears, I feel like I need to do another revision since I completely forgot to mention the defense. Here we go.

My original “Best Case Scenario”
Best Case Scenario
The Irish beat Rice, Michigan, Purdue and Syracuse to start the season and everyone stays healthy. We lose to Stanford, beat North Carolina and lose to Florida State. We finish with wins against Navy, Northwestern, Louisville and a banged-up USC squad to finish 10-2. No playoff.

My revised “Best Case Scenario”
Best Case Scenario
Golson scores five touchdowns every game, never commits a turnover, blows up highlight reels and keeps his regular season undefeated streak alive through 2014. He wins the Heisman, National Championship, Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, World Cup, Nobel and Hunger Games. We crown him Forever President and his first move is to relegate Michigan to FCS status. The nation rejoices, crime disappears, and the world suddenly finds itself in an unprecedented state of complete peace and harmony. Sure, overpopulation will still be an issue, but no one’s perfect. 


My revised, revised "Best Case Scenario"

Best Case Scenario Addendum to "Revised Best Case Scenario."
In addition to Golson ascending to never-seen-before-heights, the defense -- even in its depleted state -- will set up camp in the opposing team's backfield, making fires and cooking beans right in the can. They will sack the quarterback approximately twenty-four times per game. When they are not sacking the quarterback, they will pressure him into making bad decisions so that our secondary (and linebackers, never forget the linebackers) will intercept nearly 90% of passes thrown. When a team is lucky enough to complete a pass, the defenders hit the receiver so hard the equipment managers will not be able to piece him back together. The defense will win every possible defensive award, both team and individual and Notre Dame will create its own version of the ACC commercial with all the awards. They will surrender only three points for the remainder of the season. Those three points will be scored only because Navy are good sportsmen and will ask us politely to let them kick a simple field goal so as not to completely embarass our country.

There. NOW, I've properly revised my "Best Case Scenario."

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Revision: My ND Football Season Preview

In case you missed my barrage of tweets on Saturday, the Irish destroyed Rice by hitching their wagon to Everett Golson and his seventeen touchdowns. Golson absolutely played out of his mind. He completely blew away all my expectations. I know it’s just one game, but I feel like I need to revise my "Best Case Scenario" for the Notre Dame football season:

My previous “Best Case Scenario”
Best Case Scenario
The Irish beat Rice, Michigan, Purdue and Syracuse to start the season and everyone stays healthy. We lose to Stanford, beat North Carolina and lose to Florida State. We finish with wins against Navy, Northwestern, Louisville and a banged-up USC squad to finish 10-2. No playoff.

My revised “Best Case Scenario”
Golson scores five touchdowns every game, never commits a turnover, blows up highlight reels and keeps his regular season undefeated streak alive through 2014. He wins the Heisman, National Championship, Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, Tony, World Cup, Nobel and Hunger Games. We crown him Forever President and his first move is to relegate Michigan to FCS status. The nation rejoices, crime disappears, and the world suddenly finds itself in an unprecedented state of complete peace and harmony. Sure, overpopulation will still be an issue, but no one’s perfect. 

There. That’s my revised “Best Case Scenario.”

(h/t to @IrishMoonJ for the suggestion. Follow that guy if you've got the Twitters.)